Samuel: “Who‘s that gift with such an ugly face”
Mrs. Paul: “That’s my sister.”
Samuel: “What a lovely figure!”
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“Has your marriage taken place?”
“50 % only.”
“How‘s that?”
“You see, marriage is an agreement between two persons a male and a female. I have agreed to it, so it is 50% only”
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“I love you, I love you, love you, I love you indeed.”
 “Will you marry me?”
“Don’t change the subject.”
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“I say, madam, your husband has fallen into the well.”
“Oh, that’s all right. We use the city water now.”
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“Has your wife stopped fighting with you?”
  “Yes.”
  “How could that be possible?”
“She died.”
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The girl was interested in having an artist husband but her mother always insisted for as soldier husband. At last one day she asked her mother why she was interested in choosing a soldier husband for her.
“You see,” said mother, “A soldier husband has some decided advantages of early education and discipline over the civilian. A solder can make beds, sew, cook, and what’s more, he is already accustomed to take and obey orders.”
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Wife: “What do you mean by getting in at this hour?”
Husband: It’s all right, my lobe. I just hurried home because I thought you might be lonesome, but I see your twin sisters are staring with you.”
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In darkness, the waiter kissed one of the customers.
Customer: “What’s this nonsense?”
Waiter: “I ‘m awfully sorry, Sir, I thought it was your wife.”
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